Drink/Dine,Humour ian 3/16/2014

Today Rydges Albury is proud to present our Fresco’s Restaurant Kitchen Rules… and to add to the fantasy, let’s imagine that we have MKR judges, Pete & Manu, pulling up outside…


Ding Dong.

It’s the doorbell. No time for panic because preparation is complete. Our Executive Chef and team are ready for the challenge!

With the heavily sponsored car parked, the dapper diners straighten their matching suits, say ‘bonjour’ and ‘g’day’ to their waitress who smiles and shows them to their table.

Curiously they sit on the same side of the table. Cosy indeed, but lousy for conversation. That’s okay, however, these chaps are used to dining without talking – they have developed a secret code where raised eyebrows and quirky grins speak volumes.

The waitress moves the cutlery to accommodate the seating arrangement and entrées are served…

Pete has ordered the Kangaroo Loin lightly dusted with Cajun spices finished with a beetroot walnut relish. He is grinning like a Cheshire cat so he must be pleased with the presentation…

Manu has ordered the Brandy Seared Scallops served on green pea puree topped with crispy prosciutto. He is also grinning like a chat de Cheshire donc il doit être satisfait de la présentation…

Both judges eat. Slowly. In silence. With their mouths closed, as their mothers taught them.

Pete’s left eyebrow arches like a sprayed caterpillar. He is obviously very impressed. Either that or he has wind. Manu’s brow furrows and he nods sagely. He’s also impressed. Either that or he has detected that Pete has wind.

The mains are served.

Pete has gone for the Whole Oven Roasted Rainbow Trout with lemon and dill stuffing and kipfler potatoes. Manu has ordered the Twice Cooked Confit Duck Leg served on a rocket, fennel and orange salad. They nod knowingly to each other, agreeing that the duck will be done on the cook top. Ducks and trout are usually separated by a surface.

They again eat in silence, leaving not a skerrick on the plate. In fact, the plates are so clean they nearly sport that little animated sparkly thing that goes ‘ding’.  Cheshire cats indeed!

Pete and Manu’s eyes meet. The moment must be seized. They nod, give a simultaneous wry smile, spring to their feet, rip open their shirts and do a lap of the table, performing an overactive impression of flappy birds.

“Perfection!” Pete announces, climbing onto his chair. “Oui! Parfekshon!” Manu agrees. “Ten out of ten!” shouts Pete. Manu agrees, “Oui! Dix out of dix!!!”

Well! Were our team in the kitchen surprised at the judges’ reaction?! Not at all. Apparently it happens all the time…

For the full menu at Rydges Albury’s Fresco’s Restaurant, click here.