Drink/Dine,Humour ian 3/14/2014

Today Rydges Kalgoorlie Resort & Spa is proud to present our Prime West Grill Kitchen Rules… and to add to the fantasy, let’s imagine that we have MKR judges, Pete & Manu, pulling up outside…

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Ding Dong.

It’s the doorbell. No time for panic because preparation is complete. Our Executive Chef, Tamara Holland, and her team are ready for the challenge!

With the heavily sponsored car parked, the dapper diners straighten their matching suits, say ‘bonjour’ and ‘g’day’ to our delightful waitperson, Teresa Finnan, who smiles and shows them to their table.

Curiously Pete and Manu sit on the same side of the table. Cosy indeed, but lousy for conversation. That’s okay, however, these chaps are used to dining without talking – they have developed a secret code where raised eyebrows and quirky grins speak volumes.

Teresa moves the cutlery to accommodate the seating arrangement and entrées are served…

Pete has ordered the Chilli Mussels with Coriander, Napoli Sauce and Crusty Bread. He is grinning like a Cheshire cat so he must be pleased with the presentation…

Manu has ordered the baked Polenta, Bocconcini, Proscuitto, Pesto, simply because every ingredient ends in a vowel and there are enough Cs and Ps to win a game of Scrabble. He is grinning like a chat de Cheshire donc il doit être satisfait de la présentation…

Both Pete and Manu eat. Slowly. In silence. With their mouths closed, as their mothers taught them.

Pete’s left eyebrow arches like a sprayed caterpillar. He is obviously very impressed. Either that or he has wind. Manu’s brow furrows and he nods sagely. He’s also impressed. Either that or he has detected that Pete has wind.

The mains are served.

Pete has gone for the Honey and Balsamic Roasted Lamb Rack with Crispy Paprika Potatoes and Fig Jus. Apart from sounding delicious, the K, F and J should topple Manu in that game of Scrabble…

Manu has ordered the Grilled Kangaroo Loin with Proscuitto, Blue Vein Salad and Balsamic, simply because he is French and loves his fromage. If it was available he would order Blue Vein Ice Cream for dessert.

They again eat in silence, leaving not a skerrick on the plate. In fact, the plates are so clean they nearly sport that little animated sparkly thing that goes ‘ding’.  Cheshire cats indeed!

Time for dessert. That's 'dessert' rather than 'desert'. A walk on the outskirts can wait until later.

Pete had one eye on the ‘Superpit’ Chocolate Mousse with Chocolate Shards and Honeycomb Crunch and the other on the Ricotta & Mascarpone Tart, Marsala Prunes. So did Manu. They share their desserts, each trying to get the better portion like two seagulls fighting over a chip. It is not pretty.

Pete and Manu’s eyes meet. The moment must be seized. They nod, give a simultaneous wry smile, spring to their feet, rip open their shirts and do a lap of the table, performing a hyperactive impression of flappy birds.

“Perfection!” Pete announces, climbing onto his chair. “Oui! Parfekshon!” Manu agrees. “Ten out of ten!” shouts Pete. Manu agrees, “Oui! Dix out of dix!!!”

Well! Were Tamara and the team surprised at the judges’ reaction?! Not at all. Apparently it happens all the time…

For the full menu at the Prime West Grill, click here.

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