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Drink/Dine,Humour ian 3/16/2014

Today Rydges Snowy Mountains is proud to present our Jindabyne Horizons Kitchen Rules… and to add to the fantasy, let’s imagine that we have MKR judges, Pete & Manu, pulling up outside…

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Ding Dong.

It’s the doorbell. No time for panic because preparation is complete. Our Executive Chef, Kyle Shadlow, and his team are ready for the challenge!

With the heavily sponsored car parked, the dapper diners straighten their matching suits, say ‘bonjour’ and ‘g’day’ to their waitress, Steph, who smiles and shows them to their table to dine from our al fresco menu.

Curiously Pete and Manu sit on the same side of the table. Cosy indeed, but lousy for conversation. That’s okay, however, these chaps are used to dining without talking – they have developed a secret code where raised eyebrows and quirky grins speak volumes.

Steph moves the cutlery to accommodate the seating arrangement and entrées are served…

Pete has ordered the Vegetarian Tasting Plate (Filled Mushroom, Stuffed Bell Pepper & Kakiage Fritter). He winks at Manu, suggesting that a vegetarian entrée is so 2014. He is grinning like a Cheshire cat so he must be pleased with the presentation.

Manu returns the wink. He has ordered the Mixed Tasting Plate (Harrisa King Prawn, Seared Scallop & Peking Duck Pancake) because French men are brought up to believe that any dish vegetarian is for wimps. He is also grinning like a chat de Cheshire donc il doit être satisfait de la présentation…

Both judges eat. Slowly. In silence. With their mouths closed, as their mothers taught them.

Pete’s left eyebrow arches like a sprayed caterpillar. He is obviously very impressed. Either that or he has wind. Manu’s brow furrows and he nods sagely. He’s also impressed. Either that or he has detected that Pete has wind.

The mains are served.

Pete has gone for the Shank & Shiraz, a slow cooked Lamb Shank in a rich tomato sauce on mashed potato served with a glass of Shiraz. Being Australian, and after five MKR series of drinking water with the meals, he grasps at an excuse for a glass of red.

Manu has ordered the Ginger Tofu Stir Fry with Asian Greens, Soba Noodles and a Ponzu sauce. He is well pleased with his multicultural selection although he is not sure of the accurate translation of ‘Ponzu’. Is it an elaborate money-laundering scheme, an ancient Inca civilization or the name of that weird little cartoon penguin?

They again eat in silence, leaving not a skerrick on the plate. In fact, the plates are so clean they nearly sport that little animated sparkly thing that goes ‘ding’.  Cheshire cats indeed!

Time for dessert.

Pete had one eye on the Baked Cinnamon, Pear & Cranberry Tart with Mascarpone and the other on the Lemon Myrtle Pannacotta with a Citrus Ginger Syrup. So did Manu. They share their desserts, each trying to get the bigger portion like two seagulls fighting over a chip. It is not pretty.

Pete and Manu’s eyes meet. The moment must be seized. They nod, give a simultaneous wry smile, spring to their feet, rip open their shirts and do a lap of the table, performing an overactive impression of flappy birds.

“Perfection!” Pete announces, climbing onto his chair. “Oui! Parfekshon!” Manu agrees. “Ten out of ten!” shouts Pete. Manu agrees, “Oui! Dix out of dix!!!”

Well! Were Kyle, Steph and the team surprised at the judges’ reaction?! Not at all. Apparently it happens all the time…

For the full al fresco dining menu at Rydges Horizons Snowy Mountains, click here.

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